Why? "Your mother is ok"

I remember when my mother died. She had a massive stroke at age 78 and a day later I was elected mayor of Pratt, Kansas. She was living in Arizona at that time, cared for by my sister,Iris. Now being elected mayor was not the biggest thing to ever happen, but I have always hoped that she understood what had happened as she lay in a coma. I know she would have been very proud. In any case she died the next day and my wife and I traveled to Arizona for a small service.

Of course I was distraught at that service and I should premise this with the fact that" my father died when I was 5(train collision). I spent much of my life thinking we are alone. I now know that is not true because of my family. My mother raised 3 children by herself, working 2 jobs. She uprooted us all so I could go to college. She was a great great woman. I give thanks".

I remember the minister approaching me and simply saying, "Your mother is ok." That simple sentence gave me a total feeling of relief. I should tell you that I was raised to go to Church, but I have had a life long conflict with religion. I finally figured it out one day. The all powerful, loving god that I had been brought up to believe in had allowed my father to die. It did not seem right.

My mother was cremated. I carried her ashes on to my flight back and buried them beside my father's grave at Agra, Kansas. Her site is marked by a headstone. In the end, they will be together.

A point that I want to make is my feeling about death

why fear death?

I remember the day when I realized I was going to die someday. I was maybe 10 or so. It hit me very hard. I was literally sick to my stomach for maybe 2 days. I struggled with the idea. finally at that young age(and after talking to no one) I came to a comforting conclusion(not religious). Life and then death is the way of the world. Look at any cemetery. All people face death. the thing is how do you deal with it. You can spend your time, your life worrying about a natural process or you can spend your life living. I am reminded of a story of a priest giving last rites to an 80 year old woman and she was weeping. "Why do you weep" asked the priest. She replied "I have never done anything". Her life had been lifeless. So I say to you do things, go places, take a risk or two. enjoy the moment. You can end this life crying or smiling, it will make no difference at the moment of death. And although I have seen terrible tragedy I will smile.

And when I die, I want you all to know that "I am OK"